The Resolve Blog

Making decisions the right way


Reflection: Helping you Make Better Decisions

The best decision-makers reflect – and so should you.

In this article, I’m going to show you how reflection can you help you make better decisions.

You’ll come to understand the flow of a decision and see how easily decisions change. Reflection will give you the awareness to see this and much more. It will mean stepping outside of your decision and analysing why you made the choice you made, and that’s good.

We succumb to the reward of the outcome and in doing so we tend to ignore all the important parts of a decision.

For example, do you stop and consider the following?

  • The facts
  • The situation
  • Which information is incomplete?
  • Your biases
  • The outcome

Each of these impacts on every decision we ever make. But how often do we stop to consider them before we decide what to do?  I’ll let you ponder the answer to that one.

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Decision Flow

Decisions come at us thick and fast throughout the day. Most of them we make without a second thought. As Daniel Kahneman noted, our system one, our intuition just takes over and we make decisions seamlessly. Well, that’s how it feels.

 What most of us don’t realise is that system one has a presence to think it can decide everything for us. Thus, we find ourselves eating unhealthy food over healthy food, or opting to stay in bed rather than going for a morning run.

System one see’s these decisions and takes the easy path. Food is food – and your hungry – so eat it. It is an intuitive response.

When it comes to more significant choices, system one is scanning our historical decisions to see if it can replicate the choice again. If there is an earlier decision that looks anywhere near similar, then your system one will seize control.

It is a decision flow that happens all the time – and I mean all the time.

Big Decisions

Big decisions – the life-changing decisions are the ones we want to deliberate on. System two as it is known, steps in as we pause, stop, and think through the choices ahead of us.

Even then, the decision is far from simple. Framing, biases, emotion, temporary feelings, and the influence of the situation all impact on what we might decide to do. And that’s before the appearance of lady luck, the mysteries of what others will do and chance.

Decision-making is tough.

And yet, we live or die on the outcome. We become wealthy or we become poor, we get married or we stay single, we buy or a house or we rent, we live to a set of values or we become consigned to mediocrity. Sometimes, a heap of stuff you can’t control happens and you’re left in the position you’re in.

Shit happens.

Despite the stuff you can’t control, there is a ton of stuff you can control. Whether you decide to do something by using your intuition or using deliberation, you have the chance to reflect and learn.

Reflection: Why and How

We all spend time thinking about decisions. We become consumed by the outcome; if it was a good outcome, we’re happy, if not, we’re sad.

Thinking about decisions in this way is terrible.

Reflection is a process of structured thinking to help you analyse your decision. It means being open-minded, honest, and using self-awareness to reflect on your decision-making process, not the decision itself.

As I said, we become occupied with the outcome. We mistake this as a guide in assessing the choice we’re about to make. The harsh reality is that we take the credit for a decision with a positive outcome when chance or luck plays a part. This is a false narrative of which we are the greatest authors.

The process of reflection means we need to ask ourselves some tough questions. These questions evolve from the following decision fundamentals.

  • The facts
  • Situational awareness
  • Incomplete information

The outcome is irrelevant in the reflection process. What matters is what you knew – and didn’t know before you decided on your course of action.

The Facts

What were the facts before you took your decision? Ask yourself what you knew to be true. Don’t sugar-coat it, tell it as it was. What were the facts? Did you, as often happens, assume information as facts when they weren’t.

What filters could apply to prove the facts for next time?

Situational Awareness

What were the circumstances for the decision? Who, if anyone was influencing you? How did you feel about the situation?

Reflecting on the situational awareness means taking looking at the situation from above. Think of yourself as a helicopter pilot, looking at the ground before you. Taking the stance gives a perspective devoid of emotion, it opens you up to your blind spots. The parts of the situation you can’t see when you’re in the thick of it.

Incomplete Information

We receive incomplete information all the time. There is a lot that happens that we don’t know or can’t see. Others might be playing a part in your decision, but you can’t know what they will do and when they might do it.

Reflecting, you should be looking to find this incomplete information. Label it for what it is and learn to use it correctly when deciding what to do.

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Learning from Reflection

The process of reflection gives you a unique opportunity. To learn, to improve and to adapt your approach to decision-making. By adopting this approach, you are starting to think about how you make decisions.

Without realising it, you’ve put in place an iterative behaviour.

It’s iteration because as this habit becomes more stable, so you’re assessing the decision, not the outcome. Each time, assessing through reflection the steps you took as you made your choice.

This is a logical sequence. It’s also a self-improving sequence that can give you the ability to upgrade your decisions. Of course, life isn’t quite that simple. The myriad of facts, circumstances, and incomplete information makes every decision unique. 

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Rules for Reading which this younf might consider

5 Rules for Reading Books that will Improve Your Mind

Rules for reading that can help improve your mind are best not researched on Twitter. There is a broad spectrum of contrarian advice on reading, and this troubles me. Reading offers us a wonderful way to learn – both in practical and emotional ways. Love is an emotion most of us feel, but struggle to describe until we’ve read. Then there is our quest to grow and improve as humans. Our brains become exposed to the best that someone else has already figured out.

Reading is one shortcut to a more fulfilled life.

Twitter’s finest offer a platitude of polarizing comments on how to read. I stopped searching after reading this tweet though.

Why bother picking up the book in the first place.

An overriding consensus that’s gloated over is the power of speed reading. Skimming the contents page, and then skimming chapter by chapter to pick out the elements that are relevant or of meaning.

It appears context doesn’t matter anymore.

Why we need Rules for Reading Books

In a polarized world, it seems right to push back. Why should we speed-read a book? Why should we skim and skate over the surface of the author’s arguments? To fully understand the point the author is making, it’s equally important to see the relationships, the journey, the discovery, and the outcome of the book – or article.

We need rules for reading.

You see, I read a tonne of stuff every day. I read newsletters, articles, and books, and social media posts as well. My pocket account is drowning in saved articles and then there is my kindle which holds many titles – all of which I’ve consumed.


There is always an interruption from me. It drives my wife mad, and frustratingly for her, it is an intrinsic quality of my INTJ type. I question everything, so ‘but’ seems a suitable word to use as I challenge the accepted knowledge outlined in the beginning. 

It comes in the form of the following questions.

  • How can I better filter what I read before I read it?
  • How can I remember more of what I’ve read?
  • What can I read and understand better to help others?

I want to get more from my reading – I think you do too. So, this is my quest. To create a framework that will help me learn more, improve my life more, and help others at the same time. I need rules – now more than ever as the hands of time seem to be spinning ever quicker. In sharing it here, I give you the chance to take my rules and use them yourself.

The Strategy behind my Rules for Reading

We think of strategy as a function of business – or war, not of an article we might have in our lives. We talk about plans or personal development, but most of us don’t have a strategy in place for life or anything more granular.

Effective and successful strategies offer a means to overcome a problem and grow from it. Apple created the iPhone because other smartphones weren’t that smart. By adopting touch screen technology, Apple brought together a phone, an internet device, and a music player into one.

Building a good strategy starts with a diagnosis of the current problem. Having a diagnosis leads to a guiding policy, followed by coherent actions.

Here is my reading diagnosis:

I don’t read with the right Intent

My mental process for reading stems from learning to read as an act of pleasure. My English teacher did her best to introduce me to literature, and in part, she succeeded. Fiction was my tipple. Historically, my book choices come from seeking entertainment, not to learn. Looking back, I didn’t consume a non-fiction book until I was in my thirties.

Since then, people like Tim Ferriss, Shane Parrish, Bill Gates, amongst others have guided my book choice. Yes, I’ve wanted to learn, but I’m guided by others on topics.

Rarely have I chosen a book having first thought about what I don’t know and filling that gap. 

I’m reacting to the knowledge and insights of others to guide me in my book choice. But who’s curiosity am I fulfilling?

I’m not Learning from what I Read

A quick look at my Goodreads account shows the seventy-five books I’ve read. I can remember some bits of information from them, but not the best bits. Not the bits that might inform or help me with problem-solving or making decisions.

I can recall the great chapters from Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, especially the ones on capitalism, and Yuval Noah Harari’s explanation on how imagination and communication used religion to build collaboration.

Then there are the two systems for judgement and choice from Daniel Kahneman’s, book. Thinking Fast, and Slow. I can remember that.

A glance at the books I’ve previously read draws some sorrow. I can vaguely recall the great strategy lessons from the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Issacson, or from Benjamin Franklin. Better yet, there’s Stephen Covey and his excellent 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I remember little of note from these books.

I’m running out of Time

Lastly, I’m forty-six. If I’m lucky, I’ve forty-four years of reading ahead of me. I was reminded of this from Tim Ferriss and his one decision on not to read any new releases. He was led to this, in part by the tail end. Reading just five books a year leaves me with 220 books to consume.

I also experienced starting three books I couldn’t finish. Each one was repetitive, with the insights lost in a sea of excessive words and thoughts. That’s 1% of my reading opportunities gone.

When I chose a book, I want it to enlighten me. I know some of the words will be blatant filler – but I can live with that if the context is right. I must choose better.

My Guiding Policy for Reading Books

Accepting the 220 books I can comfortably – and hopefully – read before the end of my time, I will implement a top-down approach to reading.  A thoughtful examination of what I don’t know will leave me with a focused choice of topics to research. The focus within the research will be to find the book titles that might fulfil the knowledge gaps I have.

An assessment of each title will consider reviews – both good and bad – on Goodreads, Amazon, and Google. 

I’ll add the title to my Future Reading List with notes made as to why I selected the title and why.

My reading will take place on my Kindle, with highlights and notes made as I read. I will refine these as I add them to my Roam database; the home of my second brain. The purpose of which is to enable me to think more clearly and thus, make better decisions.

The focus is on extracting information that will improve my decision-making and problem-solving abilities.

I will still read for pleasure, intermixing biographies, and nonfiction throughout the year.

Coherent Actions: 5 Rules for Reading Books

  1. Read with Intent

George Raveling, at the age of eighty-two seeks to know what he doesn’t know. I accept that reading is a crucial way for me to learn. Therefore, I will think about what I don’t know and list topic areas to focus on.

Focusing on the right topics offers a return on investment to the effort of reading.

  1. Research Book Titles

There are thousands of books in circulation. Don’t opt for the current best sellers; In fact, don’t opt for any newly published book. Most of the gaps in our knowledge are out there in a book. The issue is that you haven’t found that book yet.

Once you have you several titles to consider, review the reviews.

Why shouldn’t you read this book?  

We always look for why we should do something, never the opposite. Inverting gives the value of perspective, an alternate question and answer to the normal. You might think this sounds excessive. Consider you’re going to read just five books in the next twelve months; each title needs to be high in quality to make the shortlist. Apply your filters so.

  1. Read Slowly

Speed read; speed read. It’s all the rage, with some saying it’s an essential skill to get ahead. At what cost – I challenge.

Read slowly, thus letting each sentence sink in. Observe the writer’s point of view. What is their perspective? Why is the author coming to these conclusions? I argued earlier that most of what we read; we forget. Yes, making notes will overcome this (see point 4), but to learn, rather than consume the emphasis changes.

  1. Record notes and share observations

I want to improve the process of clearing my mind. To achieve this, I must better manage the information I’m consuming. This means filtering information; books, article, and the like so I’m more able to digest the right information. It also means developing my second brain. The goal to keep more of the right models and biases to improve my thinking. 

  1. Don’t forget to read for pleasure

Nothing conveys excitement, drama, and tension the way a book can. The prized moments of pain, glory, and love enlighten my imagination in ways more visual entertainment can’t.

Never stop reading for pleasure.

Concluding Thoughts

My rules for reading books include some strong views on reading with intent, filtering, note-taking, and the pleasure of reading. My views come from a period of life I’ve wasted. Lost to a lack of understanding about what it takes to learn from reading a book. Like others, I’ve become caught up in the ‘read more’ game of speed reading and consuming content like it’s a badge of honour.

Without a rigorous process of highlighting, note-taking, and absorbing the context of what’s written, it’s a lost cause with little value in play.

The Resolve Blog is my opportunity to give back. To help others learn from the mistakes I made. Not having any rules for reading books was one mistake I’ve made.

Don’t let it be yours.

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A young man ponders; clearing his mind as he works at his desk

Clearing my Mind in the Information Age

Every Sunday morning, I get a notification from Apple about my screen time for the last seven days. Last week, I spent fourteen hours looking at social media; this fries my brain.

Context is everything of course; I’m in bed for eight hours (asleep for seven) and yet, twelve per cent of my time awake is gone, scrolling through an endless stream of tweets and posts. I spend another hour a day reading articles, webpages, and the news. This excludes the thirty minutes a day I spend with my Kindle, reading to try and learn even more.

Putting all that together is quite frankly frightening. I am, like so many others in the world, the epitome of the first part of the quote from E.O.Wilson. 

“We are drowning in information while starving for wisdom. The world henceforth will be run by synthesizers, people able to put together the right information at the right time, think critically about it, and make important choices wisely.”


I am drowning in information, and at the same time, starved of wisdom.

I’m my quest to improve my decision-making I’ve come to see that my mind is cluttered. Cluttered from the endless streams of noise, all because I become consumed by the endless scrolling on social media. I don’t save the information I’m exposed to; I read it, but I don’t record it. I just hope I might remember it.

I need a Second Brain 

Note-taking is something most people do. There is an unlimited choice of apps and tools to help capture your notes. I’m also a prolific bookmarker, saving endless articles on Pocket. I read, rarely pausing to make notes.

When I do make notes, I’ve become stuck, jumping from tool to tool. I used Evernote in its early days and then moved onto OneNote. From OneNote, I moved to Notion. I wanted more flexibility than I was getting from OneNote, but with Notion, I still felt restricted. I love the way the databases interlink and come together, but it was still too hierarchical and rigid for me.

Through Twitter, I’ve found Roam Research, and it has changed everything for me.

Changing how I Process Information

Nat Eliason introduced me to the power of roam and the concepts behind his use of it, written by Tiago Forte. A personal knowledge system is a phrase I’ve only just discovered.

I’ve understood the principles but never had heard it framed in such a way, let alone consider a tool that might do the job for me. Every day is a learning day, and I’m certainly learning – and doing it quickly. The hierarchal frameworks of PARA (Projects, Areas, Resources, Archives) are calling me. Awareness of projects and the cascading effects of goals and tasks are well known to me. But using them to manage information is new to me – and exciting.

Now, I’m wondering how I should manage the information I interact with. As time continues to decline on the time I have left on this planet, I’m also contemplating the criteria I use for reading – both books and articles.

Brandon Zhang shared with me his thoughts in Reading with Intention, which offers ideas around the process of choosing what to read.  Not only am I looking to apply this to my book reading efforts, but also to the articles I consume.

There is another consideration for me. What principles should form the foundations of my note taking?

  • Should I copy the article?
  • Make highlights?
  • Add my own context to draw out the relevance?

There are lots of thoughts to me consider here. Thankfully, I’m guided by those who already know better. The insights from Brandon Zhang, Tiago Forte and Nat Eliason have proved helpful. Progressive Summarization is one example of a new way for me to capture information and keep it within my second brain.

Decision Tree’s

Like most people, temporary feelings influence my decisions and I feel the need to apply a more disciplined approach. One that removes impulse and emotion from the process.

Decision Tree’s offer that capability.

It means I can map out a ‘if this, then that’ method which will help safeguard against some of the inferior decisions I’ve made in the past.

For some, this will appear cold and clinical. But that is how it must be. Simple decisions like what to keep for my second brain, and how to keep it, start to open the way for me to begin clearing my mind. I find it quite frightening how I have allowed the consumption of information to dominate my time – and my mind.

As Nassim Taleb says: 

Nassim Taleb Quote

Clearing my Mind

Decisions are battles of thought we must overcome. Some of us hesitate; dithering on the outcome of what might or might not happen. What would help is clearing my mind. A brain free of information and keeping only wisdom, which would certainly help.

This is the point that Nassim Taleb is making. Our minds are so cluttered, so clouded with information that the opinions we form become blighted. Stepping free of the blinkers shifts the mind to a different space. A space where it can think deeply. Where it can draw on the insights and knowledge held in our second brains.

It is this space I want to get too. To be able to make decisions free of emotion. To control the urges of my system one thinking and use the more logical – and thoughtful – system two. The two decision systems as described by Daniel Kahneman in his book, Thinking Fast, and Slow.

With this process in place, one day I might get to that utopia of a clear mind.

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Temporary feelings sometimes make us angry

How to Stop Making Permanent Decisions with Temporary Feelings

A mental model to rationalize your decision-making

Temporary feelings ebb and flow through our minds all the time. And yet, despite our knowledge of them, we still make bold permanent decisions under their influence. It is a reckless way to decide on what to do.

So, I wanted to frame a couple of ideas that would help manage the risk of making a critical decision, especially when we’re affected by temporary feelings.  

  • A way to manage your temporary feelings better
  • Using a mental model (the 10/10/10) to shift perspective

How we feel changes all the time. In fact, most of our feelings are momentary. Many aspects can affect our feelings; the environment around us, the things that other people do or say, and even the moment we are in.

Let’s think about the title for a second; How to stop making permanent decisions with temporary feelings. Surely it would be better to try and manage our passing thoughts with less emotion, as you’ll see. 

Temporary Feelings – How Anger Rises

Blood surged through my body as my heart rate increased. The adrenaline was doing its job accordingly, as anger triggered my body’s senses to react at what I had just witnessed.

As I approach the traffic lights, so they changed. I almost jumped them but hesitated and decided not to. So, I pulled in next to the tall pole with its box of lights mounted at the top, the red stop light glowing brightly – even in the morning sun.

The two vehicles behind me had other ideas, one a car, and the other a van. Both pulling out to overtake me and speeding on down past the cones that cordoned off the ongoing road works. “What the hell…” I spluttered to myself at the shock at what was taking place.

I was furious, rage and anger rising from within – all because someone else had jumped the lights. Those two drivers had broken the rules, a red light means stop.

I wanted to educate them; I wanted to shout and tell them they had done something dangerous. They could have caused an accident. I could feel the rage growing inside me as I digested what had happened. My momentary anger found its vent; first with me striking the airbag in the middle of the steering wheel, and then again when I found the button for the horn.

A Stoic Approach to Passing Feelings

I’m sure you can relate – the stoics do – as this quote from the daily stoic suggests.

Something may happen today that upsets you. Someone might be rude, your car could break down, an employee might mess something up despite your very careful instructions. Your instinct may be to yell and get angry. It’s natural.

But just because it’s “natural” doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Remember Marcus Aurelius’ observation, “how much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us.”

Yelling might make you feel better for a second, but does it solve the problem? Of course not. Arguing with a rude person only offers them more opportunity to be rude. Getting worked up over car trouble doesn’t fix the car, it just raises your blood pressure. Berating an employee who messed up? Now they’ll either resent you or they’ll be more likely to screw up again in the future because they’re nervous and self-conscious.

Anger only makes things worse. Remember that today.

the daily stoic

My ‘road rage’ highlights the just how impactful, and conversely – short-lived – passing thoughts can be. I couldn’t stop those drivers from doing what they did. So why waste energy on it.

Anger only makes things worse.

The Power of the Pause

I’m constantly reminded of a quote from Stephen Covey.

“In the space between stimulus (what happens) and how we respond, lies our freedom to choose. Ultimately, this power to choose is what defines us as human beings. We may have limited choices, but we can always choose. We can choose our thoughts, emotions, moods, our words, our actions; we can choose our values and live by principles. It is the choice of acting or being acted upon.”

Stephen R. Covey

Use that space wisely. Hopefully, by now I’ve convinced you to separate your decision-making from your emotion. If not, this mental model might make all the difference.

The 10/10/10 mental model decision rule

A mental model is a thought process that can help us with thinking and decision-making. There are many different mental models – mostly designed for making thinking easier.

The 10/10/10 decision rule offers three questions to help give some perspective to the decision your about to make.

Quite simply:

  • How will you feel about this decision in ten minutes?
  • How will you feel about this decision in ten months?
  • How will you feel about this decision in ten years?

Asking yourself these questions offers you the chance to put some distance on the ‘now’. Right now, emotions – both good and bad – will be swirling in your head, creating a fog of temporary feelings.

Let’s consider buying a new car. How would you feel about it in 10 minutes?

  • Excited about having something new and relieved you have now got a reliable car, but what about 10 months from now?
  • How will you feel about the monthly repayments and the effect it is having your disposable income?
  • In 10 years from now, you might not even have the car. You might have sold it, or the re-payments were too much, and you have damaged your credit rating as a result.

When you put an unfamiliar perspective in place, other factors that won’t have entered your mind at the time come into play. You may still decide to buy the car, but it will on the back of a more considered & thought out decision.

Concluding Thoughts

My earlier road rage would have benefited from a pause and the 10/10/10 mental model.

Ten minutes let alone ten months would have shifted my view of the incident completely. I would have realized that I couldn’t undo what had taken place and moved on. Those drivers alone were responsible for their actions – not me.

For me, this is the whole point of using mental models because they give an immediate shift to your point of view. Mental models offer powerful ways of applying well thought out models to our thinking. When it comes to making permanent decisions – the model offers a filter to gain an alternative perspective.

Of course, there are many other types of mental models you could use. Many biases can muddle our thought processes. Our inbuilt aversion to loss – or our views on the sunk cost fallacy all cloud our judgement.

The 10/10/10 rule isn’t perfect. But it is a start to help you make permanent decisions with temporary feelings.

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A New Blog is like a new adventure, which is on the mug this lady is holding

A New Blog; Introducing the Resolve Blog

A New Blog – not just for you – but me as well.

I’ve been writing for some time now. If you’re reader on Medium, then there is a chance you might have seen one of my articles. I’ve churned out many articles over the last few years, but I’ve felt increasing distant from my audience. The requirement to meet the desires of publication owners – as well as the exact standards of the platform have been a hint that it was time to develop something new.

A new blog offered me an opportunity to develop my own audience – one that would support my thinking – and grow with me.

I have pondered on a blog for a while, I’ve studied many others and considered how I might develop something. The most important part of having an original blog is to know what you’re going to write about.

Within Medium, I covered a broad range of topics, from personal development, to leadership, and strategy. Interestingly, one theme runs through all of these.


The Resolve Blog

Decisions are life; they steer us, guide us, and make us hesitate, and more. Their outcomes impact on us daily – including the decisions we don’t know we’re making. Astonishingly, we make 35,000 decisions a day. And yet, there is no guide on making decisions. No one teaches us the right way to make a choice. We follow others – and we copy what they do.

So, that’s my niche. It’s a topic I have read and studied for a while – but I still have much more to learn. Then this leads me to the name, The Resolve Blog. Resolve is a synonym of decision and it also captures my need to learn more.

I’m excited by the niche I’ve chosen. It is going to allow to look at the following areas in much greater depth.

  • Cognitive Biases
  • Mental Models
  • The system we use to think

Of course, this takes can filter out into many areas. Strategy – both in life and business. Leadership, which is all about decision-making and development of our own personal selves.

A New Blog Means a New Newsletter

I’ve been collecting email addresses from my Medium posts, and I’ve done nothing with them. My collection has grown to a mighty twenty-two. It isn’t many, but it is a start. The new blog has given me the motivation to focus on growing this – and to that end I’m delighted to tell you about Your Weekly Resolve.

Your Weekly Resolve will hit inboxes every Tuesday. The focus will be on sharing the insights I’ve gathered on decisions – including all the areas I’ve previously mentioned.

I won’t be using it as a ‘promote your blog’ newsletter – it must be so much more than that. The competition is evolving quickly for bloggers to build their own audience.

I get it completely. The lessons of Facebook linger long over audience ownership. It was a motivator to start this blog.

Twitter – the home of developing thought

I’m also working on developing my presence on Twitter. With Facebook now a pay to play platform, twitter is evolving far below the dross of the usual celebrity users is a new network. Writers – entrepreneurs – and others – are all sharing innovative ideas and thoughts.

It feels exciting whenever I get the chance to check out my feed.

As a writer, I’ve been flippant of Twitter – and using it completely wrong. All of that has – and is changing. Come and join me – and others – as we continue to collaborate.

Related Articles

Concluding Thoughts

Thank you for taking the time to read my first article. It is a short one, others in the future will be far longer and more concise as my writing practice improves.

I’m curious to see how you see decision-making.

Let me know on twitter or send me an email at I’d love to get your thoughts and ideas.

I see it as one of the most misunderstood parts of how our minds function. We’ve certainly learnt a lot – but there is much we don’t understand – let alone use to help make our lives easier. And more successful.

It is this I want to use to form the foundation of the resolve blog – a new blog to help with making decisions the right way.

Make Better Decisions

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In a world of irrational behaviour, Your Weekly Resolve will help you with making better decisions. Sign up here and every Tuesday, I’ll share valuable insights on the complex art of decision-making.

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